Ripping Me A New One

Yesterday, I got back my 10-page critique by the very awesome Leah Clifford, author of the YA novel A TOUCH MORTAL. (I have her book in my TBR pile, by the way!)

I didn't know exactly what to expect. My biggest fear was that she'd put a big red 'X' on each page and tell me I needed to start over. Not that I REALLY thought she'd do that, but this was my first 10 pages of my very first novel and I was so nervous!! But honestly, I really wanted her to rip it apart. Just tear it to shreds and show me all the novice mistakes I was making. I could take it. Make. It. Bleed.

She did.

And it felt ... surprisingly good. Almost therapeutic. I had gone over these pages SO many times and was to the point when my eyes couldn't focus because I'd read the same words over and over. I was just tired of this intro and wanted to keep pushing forward with the rest of the story. I felt like I was wasting precious writing time and I didn't know how to make it any better. Though I knew it needed it.

I LOVE my critique group. So much. But having a fresh set of eyes - especially from a person who has seen her own novels get ripped to shreds by her editor - pour over my work is incredibly valuable. I feel so lucky to have had this opportunity this early in my writing. She crossed out unnecessary words and phrases, asked a lot of great questions and pointed out parts that didn't make sense or contradicted something else. She helped me see my writing through a reader's eyes.

Here are Leah's major critiques:

• Show, don't tell - Instead of telling the reader what someone looks like, describe it through action. My critique group has made this comment before. This one is hard, and I know I will get better the more I write. I just need to pay more attention to that.
• Character voice should match her age - My main character is in her thirties. Being 26 myself, I didn't want her to sound too young. I was worried it would sound like a YA novel. I guess I overcompensated and she comes across as much older. Oops!
• Watch out for repetitive words and sentence structure - This is my achilles heel. I use "because", "and", "so" and "but" A LOT. I also use commas too much. This will be a hard habit to break. Just writing this blog post while keeping this rule in mind is proving to be a challenge! Also, I used the adjective "soft" about four times in my first few pages and had no idea. Hmm, what are some synonyms for "soft"?
• Every scene needs a purpose - I have a scene in the beginning that I really like because it introduces my main character's best friend. I think the scene is pretty funny and I love their relationship, but really it doesn't progress the plot in any way. I'm going to try to rework it so I can keep this scene. I need to make it have a purpose. Or cut it (ouch!).

I'm letting Leah's comments simmer for a while before I go back and edit. I might even wait until I get further into my WiP so I can use these lessons as I move forward. Once I've practiced and gotten more skilled, I'll attack the dreaded intro again. I just don't feel like I'm ready yet.

Have you had any really good critiques that ripped you a new one? What major lessons did you learn?

THANK YOU, LEAH!

Need to Rethink Some Things

We had a very exciting Saturday. It was pouring rain that morning, and in the afternoon there were periods of hail. Later that night, the rain turned to SNOW!! Yep, we had another snowy adventure but a much more AWESOME one. I live in a town that sees snow maybe once every couple of years, and usually it's just a bit of slush. The snow came down in fluffs and I kept running around in it, catching it on my tongue and taking a ton of pictures. Around 11pm, it started to turn the parking lot at my condo white! We ended up getting about an inch (maybe a bit more). Here are some pics. Yay, snow!!

After I finished geeking out about the snow, I took some time on Sunday (during the Oscars) to rework the beginning of my WIP based on the comments from my crit group. I attended my first critique group last week and it was a very informative and rewarding process. I was so excited to share my pages with new people. The feedback was very positive overall, and I was beyond thrilled with that!! I couldn't believe they liked my character, liked the story I introduced, and were eager to hear more. OMG, they liked it! I also learned A LOT about how to make my pages stronger. Here are some of the main critiques my group had:

1. Weave description into the action. Instead of saying "I was wearing this, this and this," say "I smoothed my sage green skirt" or "His clear blue eyes bore into mine."
   
2. Describe more what the main character is thinking. This was a great one because as I'm writing, I already know what Maggie is thinking because I'm in her head. But the reader doesn't. Plus, my scenes were really short and I was struggling with how to make it longer and more interesting. Adding what Maggie thinks about what's happening is important for the reader to understand her character.
   
3. Cut out action that slows down the movement of the story. Maggie is a florist. One of the first scenes is her setting up for a wedding. When I was writing, it felt weird to skip over her florist duties and skip to the more exciting part. But, as my crit group suggested, I can weave in more interesting details and what she's thinking into those more mundane actions to make it more interesting. Or, just cut them out all together. If it doesn't add to the story, take it out.
   
4. Add a bit more backstory to help introduce the character. One of the first things I read on blogs was "Don't fill your first chapter with backstory," so I tried to avoid as much backstory as possible. I guess I left out too much :).

After working with the pages for a couple of hours, I realized that the way I began the story might not work. I also have to figure out a bit more about how the story is going to progress, what motivates Maggie, and her background. I thought I had it set, but now I'm not so sure. My first step will probably be to pow-wow with my writing friends, and then write out an outline to help organize the ideas and find a solid storyline.

A couple of writers have told me that if there are scenes I know I want in the story, then I should write those first and come back to the other parts later. Does that process work for you? How do you work to fill plot holes? I don't want to rely too much on other people for ideas because it's my story, after all. Do you work through plot problems on your own or bounce ideas off your friends?

Thanks for reading!!

Shiny Ideas & Snowy Adventures

Last week, I met with the super awesome L.T. Host for a little pow-wow on my book. She read the 10 pages I had and after some feedback, some margaritas and an arsenal of "How to Write" books she loaned to me, I'm feeling really good about moving forward with this whole writing thing. I think I can do this!

Armed with my "I can do this"-ness, I went straight home and wrote two more pages. This time I introduced a new character, Maggie's best friend, who I can totally picture in my mind and had fun writing some dialogue with the two friends. YAY-NESS! Then it was the weekend and my hubby and I had a scary snowy adventure that involved driving through the mountains in heavy snowfall and me thinking "Please don't let us skid off the edge of this cliff", and then took Sunday to have a blissfully dull day of errands and house cleaning. That was much better than thinking we might plummet to our deaths (OK not exactly, but kind of - we Southern Californians are not used to snowy roads).

Then, last night I was minding my own business - showering of all things - and was hit smack in the forehead with a...

BRIGHT, SHINY IDEA!

This super awesome idea creates a new twist to Maggie's story and opens so many possibilities. It was so funny because earlier that day I read this post by Mia Hayson about what to do when you get a shiny new idea! Mentally following the flowchart, I decided to use the only writing utensil I had with me - my finger! I wrote some quick notes in the steam on the shower door so I wouldn't lose it. Then, I quickly finished rinsing, jumped out of the shower, grabbed a towel and ran for a pen and paper. I didn't have much time - the steam on the door was fading already! I made it back and wrote down everything on the door, and then some. The ends of a few words faded before I could write them, but I'm pretty sure I got everything.

Phew.

This was my first experience with a shiny new idea that hit me like a stampeding yak, so now I know what you guys are talking about and how thrilling it is. But, this shiny idea also complicates things A LOT. I may need to create one of Adam Heine's outlines to help sort through this overflow of ideas. Still, all of this makes me even more excited to continue this journey.

Also, I'm attending my very first critique group on Thursday. I'm very excited to get new eyes on my writing and to help tear it apart because frankly, I need that. So yay for ideas! Yay for critique partners! Yay for margaritas! And yay for snow (provided we don't die)!

BTW, here's a pic of the snowy adventure (before it got dark and scary)...

And here it is before we descended the mountain. See the road? Yeah, we drove on that. Yikes!